Saturday, August 4, 2007

Fatherhood


The other night, I was on the phone catching up (as I do regularly) with an old friend, Fred Thompson, the retired chief of the South Brunswick Police Department in New Jersey. As I was speaking with Fred, we shared the pride in our sons as only fellow fathers can fully understand.

Fred's two sons have certainly done much in their lives and Fred has every reason to be proud. One is the highest ranking rising junior at West Point- the United States Military Academy- and the other is bound for prestigious Duke University to study government and public policy. Both are clean-cut, honorable men. Just like their father.

Here is a picture of then-Captain Fred Thompson in a 1980s auxiliary police officer recruitment video we made together for the South Brunswick Police Department.



So what is it that makes the difference for young men? What keeps them from "the Dark Side?"

Fred and I discussed having busy lives, but always having time for our sons. My five-year-old son, Michael, routinely plays on the floor in my home-office while I work. It reminded Fred and I of the famous picture (above) of John-John looking out from the desk in President John F. Kennedy's Oval Office desk.



Such paternal closeness doesn't come out of a vacuum. I was close to my father (that's me and Dad pictured together above right at my wedding to Anne) and spent countless hours with him. In the later years, before he passed away, my father would call me countless times and ask "how's the weather?" I would give anything to hear that question again.

When my son comes in my office, I always try to pay attention to him. These are years that will never be recaptured. Once they are gone, that's it. My son has been surrounded by my work, my friends, law enforcers, and my values. For me to be a good role model, I need to be there for him...and I am.





Already at five-years-old, my wife and I can see the shaping of a responsible young man that has compassion for animals and children who are smaller than him. One tangible manifestation of our observations is that he has taken on quite a bit of responsibility for Dexter, our small dog. I am proud that he is protective of Dexter and looks out for him.

It is true, as countless, law enforcement executives, scholars, and politicians have pointed out, that many people can be fathers, but few can be a parent. It is a quality role that people like Fred Thompson and I strive for everyday.